Grr. It really bothers me that on the title of my blog, Mayonnaise and Moonlight, the ending T is cut off. That really gets my goat. I mean really. I want to know how to fix that, but it seems I cannot. GRRRRR!!! I wanna make the ‘and’ into a ‘&’ sign. Sheesh. Isn’t technology supposed to make life easier? Sheesh again. So if you’re reading this and you know how to fix it, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me, I beseech thee! (yeah, a little old time talk there. I do that a lot.) Hey speaking of old time talk, I have this list of Shakespearan (is that spelled right?) insults and boy is it fun! of course there’s more to Shakespeare than his ingenious insults, but it is a plus. I’m going to see a play of A Comedy Of Errors with my mom soon– I’ve forgotten when exactly. I’m going to read it first, of course. That’s my Rule. Rule 3, in fact, stating this: ‘Thou shalt not go and see a movie, show, play, or other performance based on any book, story, play, poem or other writing without beforehand reading the aforementioned writing all the way through, and in a close time before seeing the movie, so even if one has beforehand read the aforementioned writing, one must read it again if they read it subsequently years preceding the date of the show.’ I bet you didn’t understand that. I didn’t really either. But I still follow it anyway. So bad that once my dad took me to this mall where they have a cinema, and he was going to see The Spiderwick Chronicles with me, but I declined because, “Dad! I can’t! I haven’t read the books yet!’ so we walked around the mall instead. It was fun. But I felt kind of bad. Then again, I liked the books but the movie was sort of different so all the better, I say. But I still feel sorta bad.
Alas. Aaaaaanyway….. Ha. I just thought: “‘Rule 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court’!” “I am not a mile high.” “Yes, you are. Nearly two, in fact.” “I’m not leaving.” “It’s the rule” “It is not, you made it up just now!” “It is, a very important rule.” “Then it ought to be Number One.”
That’s without the book, people! Sorry if i said it wrong, or wrote it wrong, or whatever. You got the gist. I thought it was funny, anyway. I wish i could think up comebacks as quick as Alice in the books. She’s awfully clever for such a young kid, don’t you think? Maybe you don’t know because you haven’t read the books. People at school, when I still went there, tried to read them and found them boring, so i sort of ignored the books until i read the Looking Glass Wars, which are amazing. And then I was like, hang on, I have to read the real ones now– so I did. And I loved them. Obviously. It is sort of annoying how she keeps growing and shrinking, but they’re really good all the same. Have you heard about how people are mad at the guy who wrote ‘The Looking Glass Wars? They say he wasn’t true to Carroll’s version or something like that… anyways all these stuffy old people are ticked about it. I think they should be glad. The Looking Glass Wars made me want to read the real Alice books, and now I like both for different reasons. It also made me interested to learn more about who Lewis Carroll actually was. So take that, stuffy old historian people! And thank you Dude-Who-Wrote-Looking-Glass-Wars. You rock. Oh! Beddor. That’s his name. I forget his first name, though. I think… James. Something like that. Something English-ish. (Say that: English-ish. it’s fun!) Anyways, I think that some rules are made to be broken. Especially when they’re about writing, or art. I mean, (back to Shakespeare, see me tie this all together like a pro) if Shakespeare had listened to the rules he wouldn’t have made up new words, words that we still use even today! I bet people were like, “That’s not a word!” and he was like, “It is now, thou artless beef-witted lout!” Ah yes. The author of the most beautiful prose in the English language (according to some, I’m not so sure… I mean, they are pretty, but still hard to understand sometimes) and I must say that he was truly an artist. Even I, with all my spare time, could not think of better insults than the Bard. Thank you, Bard. Thank you, Beddor. Thank you, all. We are truly grateful.