It’s Ash Wednesday! And now I’m of the age where I’m obliged to fast, and of course Brother MC (brother the middle child. I’m the oldest.) is eating snacks right by me. And I wasn’t even hungry until he started eating them… Well, anyways, we’re holding our own prayer service here and burning our old palms from Palm Sunday because there’s no masses at a good time today. I wanted to go to the 8:45 one at my parish, but we didn’t cuz my mom had work. And then we wanted to go tot he noon mass at the nearby church, but of course there wasn’t one. But this should be cool, kind of like the Catholics who were practicing in secret. Except we’re not going to get killed for it. Thankfully. Maybe I’ll play my flute to this really pretty song called ‘Ashes’ that’s a hymn for Ash Wednesday. Well, at least I think it’s pretty. ‘We rise again from ashes, from the good we’ve failed to do, we rise again from ashes and create our world anew… if all our world is ashes, then must our lives be true, and offering of ashes, and offering to You.’ I love that part, the ‘if all our world is ashes’, I don’t know why. I sang that with the Music Ministry when i was still going to regular school, becuase it was a Catholic school, so we did have one. We also always liked singing the harmony part to the ‘ask and it shall be given to you’ song, which I sadly can’t think of the name of right now. The teacher who ran the Music Ministry is now my Confirmation sponsor, and it’s kind of funny becuase I still call her ‘Miss’ even though she said i don’t have to. It’s like, second nature. Anyhoo….. For Lent I’m going to try and wake up early (which means going to bed by 11:30, ick) and pray before meals. I pray every night before bed, but still I seem to never pray before meals. It’s sad. So I’m going to start, even if we’re at a restaurant (which is kind of a weird prospect, not exactly scary or embarassing, just odd, becuase I’ve personally never seen anyone pray at a restaurant– have you? Do you? If so, any tips?) So yeah. This should be a pretty interesting Lenten season, possibly difficult, but my goal is to make myself aware of my faith at all times, not to sort of stick it in the backseat every now and then. I want to feel like you could look at me and just tell (even though that probably isn’t realistic, I mean, really, I probabaly look atheist unless you see my medal, which is rather depressing, to think that I possibly look atheist. Not today though, becuase I’m wearing a cross necklace, a pretty white cross that was made in Bethlehem.). I don’t want to be the kind of Catholic who takes the easy way and sort of adds religion to a long list of everything else and it gets lost in the mix. What was really cool (and what possibly first inspired these ‘deep’ thoughts in me) was last Saturday night, I slept over a friend’s house and then we went to church on Sunday, where she was asked to help out. So I and another friend said we’d help, too, and then three other people from our grade (and my former class) showed up to help, too. We took up a whole pew, and then we just came out and helped and went to Communion and I was feeling like, ‘look! Look at us! We’re the future and we’re here and we care and we’re all together!’ It was mostly the together feeling that took over and made me feel good. I’d like to say that i felt the same way at the Confirmation retreat the next night, but unfortunately that was not the case (although we did meet a new PSR friend). So anyways, this is my Lent, and on Day one I woke up late. It’s gonna be a long haul, but I’m gonna make it and gosh darnit on Easter morning I’m sleeping till noon! Tee-hee. No, I’m hoping that some of it will rub off and maybe I’ll wke up somehwat earlier even after Lent is over. So anways, have a great Ash Wednesday, and if you’re giving up/doing something for Lent like I am, I just want you to know I’m pulling for you… we’re all in this together. :) *
*This little saying is from one of my favorite TV shows… and it so truly does express my feelings. Keep your stick on the ice! ;P
P.S. purple is the Lenten color, so that’s why I made this post purple!