Tonight, as we rode home from a New Year’s Eve party, I asked my family why the new year was a big deal. Personally I don’t like cut-offs; in real life, one thing flows into another smoothly, slowly, constantly. But anyway. Dad replied, in his usual manner
“It’s just another excuse to get drunk and have a party. Of course it’s really supposed to be a celebration, you know, new beginnings and a new start, new year, whatever. People make resolutions they never keep…”
Me: “I never make resolutions. First of all because I will change my habits whenever I feel like it. Second of all… I never make plans for the new year because it never turns out quite like I expect it to.”

And that is my philosophy. I mean, I never could have predicted or planned for what happened in my life in 2010.

I think I did a lot of growing up this year, a lot of changing and becoming my own person. I learned a lot and tried a lot of new things. Maybe I even took a few risks. I can’t even remember what happened in 2010, or exactly when certain changes began, because my brain doesn’t work in sudden cut-offs like January First, but I know that there was so much that happened to me and around me this year that I wouldn’t have time or space to mention it all. There is no resolution that could prepare for or be better than everything that happened to me over the course of 2010… and now, 2011.

The new year… shapeless in my mind right now. It does not feel different, or particularly promising, even. But I like it that way. Changes don’t come suddenly at the stroke of midnight. They come slowly, one by one, maybe starting so small that you don’t even notice them at first, can’t trace their origins after they are realized.

I am so happy, as I turn over 2010 in my mind… And now 2011 has come… 

The earth has turned all the way round, and it isn’t stopping yet. 

Good night, and happy New Year!


7 thoughts on “2010…2011

  1. Sharon

    Ah dear Pen… No matter what one wishes or thinks, life does not flow smoothly, slowly, or constantly.

    A car crash, a sudden illness, a loved one’s death… *shivers*

    I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t relegate it to my life. Nothing seems slow, smooth, or constant, except perhaps my love for my granddaughter.

    As for resolutions, I’ve been making and breaking them for so long, it seems lmost ludicrous to try… but I do. Every year I think, this is the year I’ll do this… or that…

    But there is one thing new this year – I will get published….

    Happy New Year!

    1. pen2sword

      Well, I definitely see your point. But that’s not been my experience, at least not yet. My dad says that as a kid things do seem more slow and constant… one summer can seem like a year…
      Happy New Year, and I know you can get published!

  2. Margie

    I like new beginnings. I make the same resolutions each year. Lose weight, exercise more, pay off bills. Ditto. I never give up. This year adding another one-be true to self. Not pleasing others and going along to get along. But going down my own path on my own terms without fear, hesitation or looking back.

  3. yes, even when there are interuptions in life, we process them slowly, or recover, and we also grow slowly and smoothly….

    never make resolutions either! though there was one thing I wanted to do last year, which was knitting, and I actually did it!! all thanks to you. :)

  4. Francis

    For me, the smooth, slow, constant is contained deep within me where I live with God, like deep waters, undisturbed, even, and especially when there is in my outer world unexpected suffering and loss. I may not always feel on an emotional level the reality of this constant, faithful companion of LOVE that reveals His face in the bearing of peace during seasons of difficulty. However, I am called to see myself as more than just the sum of my experiences or feelings or sufferings, or even joys. These deep waters call me deeper. Deep is calling to deep. That is one of my favorite scriptures. Happy New Year!

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