“I figured out what my problem is”

Over the last few days I’ve spent basically all my spare time (and some time that wasn’t) working on my submission for my writers’ group this month… Just finished last night. I work surprisingly well under pressure. Well, when it comes to writing at least. If I have a real deadline (not one I make up myself), then I don’t let myself procrastinate or get stuck, because even if you’re stuck you still have to write something. I had a goal– ten pages– and I reached it in, oh, four days. A near-record for me, I think. It’s a little embarassing to admit that I let writers’ block get to me until the last moment, but I figured out what my problem is, as I told Mom at least 70 times during this process.

Well. Anyway. So that’s why I pretty much vanished from the internet for a few days. In the meantime, of course, a few other things have happened… The youth group saga got interesting and that’s all I’ll say about it…
I re-read The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks and was floored once again by how well-written it is. I could write a whole thesis on that book, I tell you. I mean, she doesn’t impersonate Alpha until page 236. Speaking of Alpha, when they’re up on the widow’s walk, he thinks that her neglected positive words are funny. I didn’t even catch that part of the conversation before, or I didn’t remember it, or something. But it’s great. Because it makes you realize that… well, it makes you realize something. The only thing I don’t like, reading it this time, is that she doesn’t dump Matthew. I see why she couldn’t, the plot wouldn’t work out if she did, and I get why she didn’t (she didn’t want to lose all the Bassets and be ignored like Star was) but STILL. I would have dumped him. Sorry. 
Would Alpha have respected her more if she dumped Matthew?
I think he was a little disappointed in her for just going quietly along with him. For not sticking up for herself. For not being… For not eating the whole frozen custard. There. By letting Matthew dictate her personality, she wasn’t eating the whole frozen custard. She was giving half of it away to some boy. In the pizza shop, Alpha sounded disappointed when he kept making the frozen custard references and insinuating that Frankie wouldn’t really fight for what she wanted. He thought she would just give the frozen custard away and dash off as soon as her mother called.

So that leads me to the whole character development thing.
Frankie was the giver of frozen custard in the beginning of the book, right? She compromised. But then she impersonated Alpha and all that, bleh bleh bleh. Which makes her, at the end of the book, a fighter. She became who she truly was– or did she? Was doing that all just to impress Alpha, make him respect her? The reader might wonder.
Then, at the very very end, the author shows us that Frankie really DID change. She’s no longer looking for respect or admiration from Alpha. She no longer cares about his approval, or anyone else’s but her own.
Because when he messages her–

I swear. That book is GENIUS. Right there. Proof before your eyes, people! As Eliza would say. ;)

And none of that probably made any sense outside of my head. Whatever. It’s still awesome.



4 thoughts on ““I figured out what my problem is”

  1. Sharron

    Another write told me that writer’s block is sometimes our fear of delving too deep inside – cause that’s where our characters come from. I think she’s right!

    1. pen2sword

      I think that could be true. It took me so long to write the last part of White Funeral and I think it was because I was afraid of delving into the romance side. But when I finally did, I was really happy with the way it turned out.
      This time I think the block was just me giving up too easily, though fear probably did play a role. But the fear of wasting my turn to submit was stronger! ;)

  2. yes, making some sort of deadline does help…..and I still can’t beleive you wrote ten pages in four days!!!

    about Sharron’s comment…it does seem like that, I think also for me it can come as a fear to mess up or write something really tacky….

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