Men of the House

I went out to water the garden this morning. Unrolled the hose, watered, started walking back to turn off the water. That was when I saw it.

A clump of feathers lying in the middle of our driveway. I peered closer. It was a dead sparrow, looked like it might have been there since yesterday morning (when I didn’t water), ants all over the place. I turned to the dogs.

Me: “Lily! Daisy! Come!”
Them: come over and sit.
Me: (pointing to the bird) “Did you do this?”
Daisy: slinks off
Lily: looks away guiltily
Me: sigh.

Dad, our designated picker-upper of dead things, squisher of bugs, etc, had just left the house and was expected to be gone for any length of time. So I found Mom and informed her of the problem.

Mom: “Have the boys do it. It’s a man job.”

I found my brothers playing a video game upstairs…
Me: “Hey guys… Mom has a quick job for you to do.”
Dodge: “Oh great.”
Poncho: “Me too??? She said ME??” He jumpes up. “Are you sure she said Poncho???”
Me: “Both of you.”
Dodge: “Okay, fine, what is it?”
Me: “Go outside and get the flat shovel–”
Dodge: “Already not quick.”
Me: “–and pick up the dead bird lying in our driveway.”
Dodge: “Are you serious?”
Poncho: “Eww!”
Dodge: “Why did they have to kill a bird again? Why?”

I think it was last summer that there was a smiliar incident where Mom saw Lily tossing around a dead bird, got it from her, then said, “oh, where’s the bird?” and Lily ran off and returned three seconds later with a second dead one. Don’t ask me how they do it– kill birds like that. Although Daisy is a good stalker, and Lily likes to snatch things out of the air (she eats butterflies!). It was after that first incident that Dodge took this picture:

in case you can't make it out, the sign on the fence reads: "Instant Disposal-- DANGER!" which is apt.

So anyway. I followed the boys out to the back yard where Poncho strugged with getting the bird onto the shovel, succeeding only in pushing it (and the ginat crowd of ants) halfway around the yard. Finally, the bird was shoveled into a plastic bag, which Dodge used to transport the bird out front, where he dumped it into the sewer drain.

Mom: “Why the sewer?”
Dodge: “That’s what Dad does!”
Because everything Dad does is a good idea. But I digress.

I am so, so glad I have brothers. They shoot thousand-leggers and clean up half-eaten sparrows. Thanks for being guys, guys. :)


5 thoughts on “Men of the House

  1. crescendocroise

    Wow, what a morning… and meanwhile I was still sleeping! I did not get up until 10:17 am….. yeah… I have been tired lately. I did stay up until midnight, however and had a ballet and pointe class that night that did not end until 9:50 ish…. Brothers are awesome…. I give Poncho credit for shoveling it and Dodge for actually getting it in the bag!! Definately a man’s job… Anything to do with dead things, trash, or bugs… or mice… ewwww! I laughed when I read this blog… it was funny when you talked to Lily and Daisy! It is so funny that they know what you are talking about! I love you, dearest!

    1. pen2sword

      Sleeping in is good… Brothers are amazing. :) You should have seen them out there, it was quite humorous. Yep, gotta love the fact that boys get put in charge of all that stuff… And I can see why, because today Poncho announced while we were fishing that if we caught a gobie (invasive species, which you are not supposed to release back into the wild), he waned to cut it open and use its guts as bait. Boys. Wow.
      The dogs understood me because I make a very dramatic frowny face when they are bad… and when they are good I’m always talking to them in a squeaky girly voice (cute animals = I can’t help it).
      I love you too!

  2. Ok, I just went outside to water my garden….and there lay a dead grackel. But of course we will have to wait till Dad comes home to clean it up.
    And we also saw a dead sparrow on our bikeride yesterday. Weird.

    Your brothers are awesome.

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