Today I am what Poncho is calling his “human lab rat”, meaning I have this chart where I am to record my heart and breathing rates at certain times– the first of which was ‘upon waking’. I don’t think that one turned out very scientific, as I didn’t have a watch of any kind, and was trying to count my pulse and the seconds. So it says that my heart beat 30 times per minute, which makes it sound like I was in a half-alive coma state. (Possibly this is true. I had just woken up, after all.) (I don’t think “woken” is a word.) (Too bad.)
Also today I went to the grocery store with Dad. This was our list:
This is what he tried to convince me to buy:
butter pecan syrup
some kind of soup
basically everything we happened to walk past
Then we ended up standing in the middle of the deli area because someone he knew was there, and they were talking. Whilst the deli counter lady was calling to me from behind, and Dad was not telling me what kind of cheese to get, so I asked for sharp chedder. This prompted the deli lady to go into great depth telling me that they did not have sharp cheddar, well actually they did but it was expensive and–
Me: “OK, never mind…”
Lady: “Do you want a half pound of it? A quarter? Are you sure? Do you want a slice to taste? Here it is, it’s good, it’s wrapped in wax.” (because only legit sharp cheddar is wrapped in wax, apparently)
Me: “No, seriously–”
Lady: “Oh, I see, you’re sorry you even asked.”
Dad: “Ask for some colby jack.”
You see why I juse loooooove shopping.
Now Dad is actually cooking the hamburgers, and sighing and talking to himself and– “Oops, somethin’s on fire.”
PS: Yes, the title is from Annie Oakley. Yes, I remember that from third grade. Though not the accompanying dance moves, sadly.