the other side of takeout is mildew on rice

I’ve debated whether I should abandon this blog, abandon blogging (um, kinda did… but you know, officially), start a new blog, start a new blog with one specific theme in mind, or…. I don’t even know. I still don’t know. But lately I’ve been super nostalgic for a time before tumblr and pinterest, when my internet experience was so much less image and so much more discussion, or at least reading. To me it seems like now everything is just an endless scroll of pretty things. Aesthetics, inspiration! My poor weary eyes. I don’t even know anymore whether I like something or if it just looks good, you know?

And does any of this translate to real life? And does anyone think up their own stuff anymore? How can you even tell? Does it even matter?

Which is not to say that I don’t enjoy things like Pinterest myself. I’ve found it useful, for sure, to gather ideas and then get them all sorted and categorized and specified. But all the white space and prettiness and perfectly calibrated everything makes me feel like I must need reading glasses– like I’m squinting, or like I’ve been looking in the mirror too long.

Essentially, what I think I’m trying to say is, I’m bored.

And weirdly nostalgic for a time when I was running around blithely on the internet, encountering little difficulty in making up blog domains or usernames, reading everything I set eyes on, and writing and creating as if I was the only person to have thought of it. Now half the time I think of making a blog post about something, like, say, a recent album I’ve been listening to and the deep thoughts I’ve been having about it, I can’t. I’ll think, the only people reading this are people I know in real life who do not share said interests, and besides that, everyone who does care already wrote about it and I discover everything too late. And/or, whatever I’m going to say is just plain too long.

Now I sound like an old person– these newfangled blogs! Everything moves too fast! Well, I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe it’s partly what I’ve already been doing: keeping up with the newfangled things I like, and passively acknowledging the rest. But maybe it’s also finding a few internet spots where I actually interact, for once/again.

So, who knows what that means for this blog, if anything. Um. The End?


One thought on “the other side of takeout is mildew on rice

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