America the…

Pitiful. Mom just informed me that there will be a bill to make it legal to drill for gas in the National Parks. Gee, that sounds like a great idea. I mean, really???? Ugh, it makes me so mad that i can’t even talk about why IT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A GOOD IDEA.

All I can do is sing the song that Mom and I composed a few weeks ago. It is our own version of “America the Beautiful”, and sung to that tune. The title is “America the Pitiful.”


“Oh pitiful: polluted skies
over fields of GMOs!
Our purple mountain majesties
have been strip-mined for coal!
America, America,
what has become of thee?
Suburban sprawl consumes us all
from sea to oil-slick sea!”

And more verses coming soon, apparently. Seriously, WHY?

Want to not depend on foreign oil? Then stop driving your piece of crap “yackahoochie car” as my Grandpa would call it, and get your cushy politician be-hind on a bike. Don’t drill in the National Parks, which belong to everyone. Unless you want to give us that gas for free. America used to be so cool. We used to be the big man on the block, you know– I mean, can you think of any other countries with as many or as awesome National Parks as we have? I can’t. But yeah, let’s just destroy that too and then go whine about how Japan or China or wherever is kicking our butts.

How come only politicians vote on all this stuff? Health care, drilling, etcetera… The PEOPLE don’t get to vote, only the old dudes allegedly representing them get to. How does Kasich represent me? I mean, really?

Does he even give a rat’s fart about real life people?

This land is your land,
this land is my land
except you’ve got money
which I do not have
so you make decisions
and I watch it turn to crap now:
this land that was made for you and me.

I think I have a new song in the works, yeah? As the DHFs and I were discussing, you have to make yourself laugh about this sort of thing, otherwise it’s too depressing.

Yours till I go truly insane from having to deal with this crap,

Come and see the spider, in the middle of the kitchen. Hanging from a thread!

There was a spider in the kitchen a minute ago.
Dodge, nerf gun in hand: “Look out, I’m going to kill that spider.”
Me: “No, don’t kill it!”
Dodge: aims gun.
Me: High-pitched SHRIEK. 

Yes. I screamed not because I wanted him to come kill the spider, but because I wanted to save it.

Dodge: “Well, fine, put it outside then, jeez.”
So I did.

I’ve done that numerous times. I consider myself the spider rescue squad. Even at the DHFs’ house, I’ve saved spiders from terrible fates. I have a few jumping-spider friends living in my bedroom, in fact. They eat the little fungus gnats that try to live in my seedlings. I think there is also a bigger spider living behind my dresser, and one underneat my window seat… There was a big black one in the bathroom which I named Linnaeus, and took its picture, but I’ve never seen it again. Strange how you can live in a house full of little creatures and never know about them until one day, by some strange accident, you happen to meet.  

When you really think of something like a spider being real, I mean actually breathing, moving, pulsing, alive kind of real, doesn’t it seem like a made-up story? They’re so complex, strange, tiny, diverse, graceful, unique– like a fantasy creature that you couldn’t even dream of. Fairies and dragons and whatnot just pale in comparison.

And the craziest part is, we look at them like they’re something to be squished as quickly as possible, before we have to stand looking at them for another second.

It’s like we’re the inhabitants of El Dorado, grinding gold dust under our shoes like it’s dirt.

Now, I’ll wax poetic about spiders.
Thousand-leggers are a different story.

Anyway, the least you can do if you really don’t like spiders is catch them in a cup and put them outside. The only thing the spider did wrong was show up where you could see it. “What the eye can’t see, the heart can’t grieve over”, as Mrs Patmore would say.

(Speaking of quotes, the title of this post is the song that Mom sang in a scared voice the other day, while she waited for me to come and get a spider that was hanging down from the ceiling.)

Good night,

Beauuutiful Nature

On Friday we (Me, Mom, Dodge, Poncho) went to the nature center/ metroparks with the C’s…
First we ate at Chic-Fil-A. On the way there Mom made me go through her old cell phone and save all the important numbers to her sim card. It took forever, and she did not get any of my jokes. Cuz there was someone called John D, and I was like, “OMG, John Dee is in your phone?!? DundunDUN!” And Mom just went “HUH?” and Dodge went, “You mean John Locke! HumhumHUMhum”… and then right after that there was someone named Kate. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyway. Chick-Fil-A. First of all what kind of name is that? Are they trying to sound French or something?
So on the way in I get to carry the baby (Justin), and he didn’t let out a peep! In fact he even rested his head on my shoulder! I may finally have reached a point in my life when I can actually interact with babies and small children without making them cry!
You know what did make him cry? The person in the cow suit. I cowered in the booth, too– people in animal suits are creeeeepyyy…

So then somehow I ended up playing Rock Paper Scissors with my brothers and the oldest C, Josh, except it turned into Rock Paper Missile! Volcano! Tidal Wave! BAMPOWSPLOOSH!!!!!
After we ate I had to walk the girls (Gabrielle and Christina) to the bathroom. Well, then I asked Christina what happened to her eye (it was all black and blue).
Christina: “Well I was coming back from a time out, and then I started running, and then I fell onto the upside down table, and then we had to go to the hobistable…”
Gabrielle (coming to wash her hands): “Look! Everything’s magic!”
Me: “Magic?”
Gabrielle: “See? It just comes!” As she keeps taking all the automatically unrolled paper towels.

Finally we got to the park.
(Looking out at the view…)
Me: “Look at that pretty red tree, see it? Ooh, and the river.”
Gabrielle: “Wow! I can see a wire! Look at the wire! And a road! And cars!” (pause, a little sigh) “Beauuutiful nature.”

(walking hand in hand with Christina)
Christina: “I wish I had a big sister.”
Me: “Um, you do have a big sister. Remember Gabrielle?”
Christina: “I know. I mean one that’s like 20.”
Me: “I hope you don’t think I’m 20. I’m 15.”
Christina: “Oh.”
Me: “Someday you’ll be 20, you know that?”
Christina: “Then I would be Gabrielle’s big sister!”
Me: “It doesn’t really work that way…”

And we collected acorns (“I can’t keep my eyes off acorns! I think my whole room should be painted acorns!” was Gabrielle’s declaration as we climbed the steps); went inside the tree thing and had a puppet show; pretended to be in an airplane (“You can be in it but don’t drive.”); and generally had a good time. 

It was a fun day.
Little kids are great.

Sorry, Nature, but you’re not getting a mother’s day card from me.

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of “The Earth is our mother” stuff, so I just wanted to clear things up. I do not consider Nature my mother. I’m not trying to be anti-green, or argue about animals and plants; it’s just about the earth and nature itself, and I don’t consider it my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I see the analogy: we are fed by the fruits of the earth, we can’t live anywhere else, it gives water and shelter and basically takes care of us.

But… That doesn’t make it our mother. Because there is one thing that a mother does that Nature, or the Earth, does not. And that is: a mother loves.

Sure, the things on the earth, and the things in nature can love, but the earth itself is just a ball suspended in space. A ball suspended in the perfect place in space, supplied with everything we need, but the earth itself does not love. The dirt doesn’t say, “Hey, I’m going to be really fertile so everyone can grow stuff”. Nature does provide, but not out of love. 

But there is a mother that we all share, a mother for all humanity. The Blessed Mother. She provides for us, and out of love. She prays for us, watches over us, sets for us a great example. In honor of May, the month when we especially honor Mary, and in honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday….

~Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.~ 

To my mom here on earth, and the Blessed Mother in heaven, Happy Mother’s Day. <3


It’s a School Day

Ah, Monday. Back to school again and all. I’m taking a short break right now, though, (it’s like eleven o clock, a.m. obviously) and then it’s back up there to history. I’m currently studying the Great Depression, which actually doesn’t depress me because I always wanted to study it but we never really got around to it in regular school. So this year it’s all 20th century history for me, hurrah!! :) I can’t wait to do art because Mom got me some acrylic paints and good painting paper and there’s some things I’ve been wanting to draw/paint for a couple days now. There was this great scene on a hike my dad and I took when we were camping. We go to the same camp every year around this time, and he and I always go on this five mile hike to this airfield thingy and then we hike the whole five miles back, so really it’s like a ten mile hike. Well, since we do the hike every year I know the trail pretty well, and one of my favorite parts of it is where you come out of the woods and you walk along these grassy hills, right on top of them, on this thin little path but you’re up pretty high and it’s just cool. This time it snowed, so the grass as all bent over and the hill and the clouds and the sky and the snow and the grass just looked really cool, but of course we didn’t have our camera. That always happens. I see something pretty or cool and then either I don’t have time to stop and take a picture or I forgot my camera entirely. Alas! But I remember the scene pretty well in my head. Also on the hike we saw a coyote! That was really cool because it looked sort of like a wolf and it just stood there, pretty close to us, probably sniffing the air and going, ‘oh great, humans’. Then he turned and sort of sailed off, and I say ‘sailed’ because it wasn’t really like running but it wasn’t really like just loping along either, it was graceful and swift but not super fast. When we got to the part of the trail he’d been standing on, we followed his tracks to the point where his path and ours separated, and then we hand to cross this frozen creek becuase the bridge was down. So yeah, that hike was really good and fun and interesting and… well, cold, of course. And I tripped on some ice and was awarded with a sore rear, but aside from that it was really, really nice to be out walking in the woods with my dad.